On Bruce & Caitlyn Jenner, Being Judged, and one Ratchet A** Hoe (Or, "Let He Who Is Stoned Cast the First Reality Show Judge" or something...)

They say the first signs of age are physical but a lot of the things “they” say don’t always hold up to be true. Personally, when I talk to coworkers I often start a sentence with “When I was your age…” or “Do you remember…?” Usually, they don’t remember because they were a decade or more from being born. To think, 9/11 is closer to most of their dates of birth than today is and to put it in perspective, my birthday is the midway point between today and the Invasion of Normandy. I mean, I’m closer to my discount at Denny’s than I am to drinking age. Does this bother me? Hardly. Good natured jokes are a specialty of mine, the giving as well as the receiving. They kid me for having once bought cd’s and I kid a coworker who, though a few years younger than me; looks ten years older.

All jokes and observations aside, I've realized my personal sign of aging is the way I shake my head at some of the ways of thinking that have not previously existed in our society. Or better yet, people who don't think, at least for themselves. People who clearly choose to allow the media, upbringing or even some damn internet meme to think for them, then are delusional enough to say "I'm an independent person." I have no other choice than use my not-yet-arthritic hands and type “What is this world coming to?”

Past blogs have ranted about celebrities, especially those who are celebrities because they are famous, and famous because they are celebrities. Curiously, no one seems to know or care they have done next to nothing to deserve celebrity status. And to take a quick scan of who our most celebrated and talked about people are, I wouldn’t exactly consider being a celebrity something to be proud of.

The following may anger some people and after seeing some posts as of late, may even get me deleted from a friend list or two. But before you delete me (if you choose to do so) I ask that you understand I am not offering opinion here. Opinions are of little value to me. Perspective on the other hand is vital to how I conduct my life, and perspective is what I am offering.

No disrespect to the people involved (meaning anyone who has a real life and isn’t tabloid-obsessed) but would Kim Kardashian's step dad, err, uhh step-mom be considered a hero if he (I mean… she) was not Kim Kardashian's step…. parent? Not knocking Caitlyn Jenner but unless she donated a kidney or other organ the operation was not heroic.

While perusing some of the online blather about Mrs. Jenner I read a sarcastic comment about how many women have “heroically” augmented their breasts. When you think about it, is having breast enlargement surgery much different than having a sex change operation? After all, at the core it’s the result of a human being dissatisfied with their physical appearance. I must also state that I consider fake boobs rather unattractive. In fact, I consider them about as attractive as Rosie O’Donnell eating lint from Michael Moore’s belly button and if you’ve read my past blogs you’ll know how much of an insult that is.

This brings me to the overall essence of this piece. The word “Judgmental”. And yes, I have been judged as “mental” more than once.

Anyone who has a harsh opinion about the current cover of Vanity Fair is accused of being Judgmental. In its new definition, being called judgmental now indicates someone who has a differing opinion. And before I am accused of being judgmental for saying Caitlyn Jenner is not a hero, read on.

Ever hear of a woman named Jennifer Pritzker? Jennifer Pritzker is a retired United States Army Lieutenant Colonel who was born as James Pritzker. What’s more, Mrs. Pritzker has spearheaded and funded efforts to integrate members of the transgender community into the military and emergency services. So call me judgmental if you like but members of the armed forces along with police officers, firefighters and paramedics are not only real heroes but vital to our very way of life and just maybe a little more important than any and all reality TV stars.

Late last year, I made a post regarding a well-known figure who committed several crimes against animals. I was accused of being judgmental by someone who did not like the fact my post suggested a fitting way to mete punishment for the heinous crimes. In defense of the criminal, the person accusing me said the criminal made a “mistake”. A mistake is defined as an unintentional act resulting in an unintentional outcome. The crimes committed were anything but unintentional and the word mistake was nothing more than an excuse used as a feeble attempt to avoid accountability.

I, myself on the other hand have made very few mistakes. Why, just the other day, I pushed the wrong button on vending machine and got the wrong candy bar. That was a mistake. But the things I have done in the past; the times I chose alcohol over my wife and children, the time I broke both hands while punching a wall in an inebriated rage, rendering my family broke and on the verge of our first stint of homelessness; and the time just a few weeks ago I yelled so loud at my son he burst into horrified tears, those weren’t mistakes at all. Those were decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions I regretted immediately yet decisions nonetheless.

A lot of folks use the “we all make mistakes” excuse as a way to side-step admission of poor decision making; I say we all make fewer mistakes than we think. But for some reason, many of us are wired to make excuses; to shift the blame, to feed a denial or two and surround ourselves with other like-minded people who have been similarly conditioned to avoid any and all personal accountability at all costs.

Which brings me to the other new definition of one who is “Judgmental.” Another curiosity of human thought I have observed is how accusations of being judgmental often come from those who think what they have been told to think, as opposed to those who have been wisely taught how to think. Being told what to think leads to denial and for a lot of years denial was my one constant companion. Denial nearly destroyed my family and denial nearly had me take a swan dive off the Coronado Bridge. Denial is sown in a lack of principles, it is fed by excuses and it harvests itself as disgrace.

To put it bluntly, one is often called judgmental by another for stating a truth the person is in denial of, or refuting a truth a person is told to believe without exception. Sometimes, tact has to take a back seat to truth. I would much rather be honest and hated than lie and be loved for it. Because if lies are involved it isn’t love in the first place, so what’s the point? And as we have seen in recent local news, denial and all its accompaniments often lead to misery and ultimately death. I have been accused of being judgmental for this very reason many times and if you have too, rest easy; for you are in good company. Sir Winston Churchill once said “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something in your life…”
Keen as I am on the subject of contemporary social thought I have closely followed the story of a United States Navy sailor who lost his life in a suspected road rage incident last week. This case catches my eye for many reasons; far too many reasons to list here now. But the reason the story of Chief Petty Officer Zach Buob has found its way onto this page is the enormous public backlash against his accuser. Never before have I followed a crime story where such a large percentage of people agreed on the poor character of the suspect. Not one reliable source shared anything which would suggest the suspect was anything other than a person of vindictive spirit, ill intentions and to put it bluntly in the words of dozens of men and women who knew her, “the bitch has issues…”

Accusations of theft, vandalism, threats of physical violence and child abuse have been publicly reported by people who know the suspect but didn’t know each other. This is definitely not your run of the mill “Let’s trashs someone’s name”, since the suspect trashed her own name long before the rest of the nation heard of her. Yet even as those who knew her shared actual messages from the suspect, a few others were quick to call them judgmental for doing so. These messages weren’t opinion or judgment, they were absolute proof of what a horrible person the suspect is.

Somehow, the suspect was able to delete her social networking profiles before heading to jail. A pity, since viewing them would have been an interesting study indeed. A few who disagreed with those who knew the suspect well accused the others of being judgmental. Following this story and others, I have learned the word judgmental is often used as a way to create the illusion of superiority over who with a differing opinion. The preceding examples prove this.

The Bible says “Judge not, lest ye be judged...”, among other things. Personally (And I say with utmost sincerity that I mean no offense to some of my dearest friends, confidants and spiritual advisers), I have had a problem taking the entirety of the Bible as absolute truth due to complete lack of acknowledgement of creatures who existed millions of years before us humans. But that's a rant for another time. I've observed people who were raised to think what they were told to think, people who (possibly unknowingly) choose to allow others to think for them. I think of people who wave the word “Judgmental” around like a banner of self-righteousness, those who make excuses in place of being accountable and those who live in ways that defy basic human morals and say “Only God Can Judge Me”;

I look at them and think to myself “Yup, God/Buddha/Allah/Ned Flanders is gonna kick their asses…”